I have just received a kind message from our Slovakian girl, Sofia (and she confirms that it is not her real name!). I greatly appreciate her update and further report. Thanks, “Sofia”!
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Sofia says:
“If I understand it correctly Pam likes to be spanked.”
Yes, that is correct. Although she does not like to be spanked by her husband’s first wife! But she does like to be spanked to confirm that she is being controlled and enjoyed.
Sofia:
“There is a difference for me. I really hate to be spanked. It hurts like hell and for me, a well-educated woman, it is absolutely humiliating to be like a naked crying little girl. Especially if the spanking comes from men who are not my husband.”
This is where there are significant differences between what girls’ desire—some, like Sofia, resist being made to present themselves to be spanked by someone other than their husband/fiancé/boyfriend/master/mistress/etc. Others consider it a sign of their respect for their master to be obedient and do exactly whatever he tells them to do. However, these girls, like Pam, willingly subject themselves to being spanked and enjoyed by guests and others. But many girls resist and eventually leave the husband who is just abusing them; and that is the key sentiment—does the girl feel that she is being “abused” or not. If she feels abused, the relationship often does not last long.
However, Sofia also admits that, even though she is “well-educated”, she still wants to be controlled and spanked by her husband. This is more common than one might suspect. One girl wrote and admitted:
“Even as a professional woman, I still need to be controlled and spanked. At 34, I am still living at home, and my dad still spanks me when I misbehave or do not obey him. I have curfews, and domestic chores to complete. If I am late coming home when I am expected, I will have to take my clothes off, hand dad my hairbrush, and bend over his knee to be spanked. As a manger, I am very controlling at work, but when I get home, I am the one who must be obedient and do what I am told to do. And, I can only date men who will take control of me and make me obey them and behave properly. When I am disobedient to them, I do expect them to spank me hard. If they don’t, I will find a man who will. I always dress professionally by wearing a pleated skirt and blouse, with no panties or bra, so that I can be easily spanked or made to present myself naked to my man. I expect him to control me and make me submit to him for his enjoyment.”
This sentiment is expressed by Sofia given below.
“So, you ask: Why don’t I leave my husband? The answer why I am not leaving my husband is that I hate the spankings, but I love that he is a man who does whatever he wants to do with me. If he wants to spank me, he does it. If he wants sex, he takes me in every art of sex he wants. I love his dominance but wish he wouldn’t punish me so hard and so often and especially he would not allow other men to punish my naked body and speak about how funny I am crying with my red and sore ass.”
This is the dilemma that many girls have—they want a man who will take charge of them, make them obey and submit to their master, and yet they want limits on just what he can make them do. Not knowing either Sofia or her husband, I am not in a position as a marriage counselor, however, from reports I have had from girls who are in a similar situation, the marriage does not last, and the girl seeks out, and eventually finds, a man who will spank them and enjoy them, but will do so within the limits that both have agreed to.
I have repeatedly said that a true Domestic-Discipline Lifestyle (DDL) is very difficult to maintain, since it requires a man who is both dominant, and yet compassionate and understanding of the feelings of the girl. When that is not present, it is difficult to maintain over a period of years. Pam enjoys the total control that she receives and willingly submits to being spanked and enjoyed by whoever she is ordered to submit to, but, more likely, most girls will want certain limits on who can spank them. Although, here again, our Serbian girl, I believe it was Willow, in Maine, had to submit to being spanked by anyone within the religious community, and anyone her dad ordered her to submit to, which included sexual use. And, this also included another one of our Serbian girls in Alabama who also had to submit to being spanked and enjoyed by anyone she was ordered to submit to. The spanking and sexual enjoyment of Serbian girls seems to be a result of their culture, since I have many times more girls from Serbia than from any of the surrounding countries contacting me.
So, it appears as though part of the problem is one of culture rather than just personal; i.e., the religious community or social structure in which the girl lives may often determine her own desires as to how she is treated—is it customary for girls in the community; e.g., to be spanked by the pastor of the community and therefore the girls will submit to his spanking-attention as ordered, and is it customary for a girl to be spanked by her boss at work, or by the husband of the girl she is babysitting, etc.? If so, then she comes to simply expect it. But, if a girl enters into a marriage where she has not been brought up to believe that a girl must submit to being spanked by whoever she is ordered to submit to, then there will most likely be a long-term problem as to whether or not the marriage will last. There are men who are domineering, and yet understanding and compassionate, who will take the desires of the wife into consideration. And, there are men who are not.
In this case, it is up to Sofia and her husband to work things out, but I would recommend that they may need some intervention of a marriage counselor soon who understands the DDL.
Sofia:
“If my husband leaves the room for a moment, one time they talked about their wish to be allowed to spank me and force to beg them to fuck my ass. If my husband would allow them to fuck my spanked ass, I would leave him.”
OK, now we see that Sofia does have certain limits, as many girls do, and these limits should be worked out before marriage, and not after. Again, however, there are some girls who have no limits, and will do whatever she is ordered to do, and they enjoy doing so. That also, should be worked out before marriage. One girl stated:
“When I disobey my boyfriend, I expect him to strip me naked, take me over his knee and spank me hard. If he doesn’t, then I do not think that he loves me and cares about what I do. When he wants me to satisfy him, then I must obey as he orders, or, again, I do not believe that he really enjoys my body and wants me to satisfy him. And, if I don’t satisfy him, I want him to whip me hard to show me that he expects me to obey him and do what I am told to do.”
The reason is that most men just do not want to subjugate their wife, and, when that is what the wife wants, then such can cause just as much tension and discontent as the marriage in which the husband demands more than what the wife enjoys. All of this should be worked out before marriage. Pam has similar problems, both in terms of her sexual desires and need to be spanked. Her husband is not interested in having sex more than once or twice a week, whereas Pam wants it 3 times a day! She also wants to be spanked every day, but her husband will not spank her at all. So, she has a definite problem being a trophy wife.
Sofia:
“Another question: Could he be a loving-dominant without spanking and forcing me into obedience? Could I feel his dominance more as when his strong body is against my skinny body?”
The answer is, “Yes”! But, again, that must be determined jointly, and is not obtained when the wife simply gives in and does not resist. But that is between Sofia and her husband. Or, between any girl and her husband, regardless of the problems. No recommendations can be made when the details of the relationship are not known, and the couple has not been met.
