Update to: “Is This Girl Married?”

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I have received a very informative message from a friend, Jack, concerning Elsa.  For background, go to the previous post “Is This Girl Married?”  Jack says:

Hi Ken,

I’m following your article on “Elsa” and her “hubby”, while misguided, probably isn’t a control freak (yet), but is likely young and insecure.  I admit having access to her account and writing you with it is a control freak shit thing to do.  Experienced control freaks will want to know where she is every minute of the day, who she is with, when she’ll be home, what she is wearing (if they didn’t pick it out themselves) etc.  Some control freaks are often sociopaths, and do things without empathy.  A real control freak wouldn’t allow her to visit you for 5 weeks in the US without being there, directing the action.  

Also, some girls like control freaks.  Some of the ones that write you from what you’ve posted would love to be controlled.  I’ve been involved with a few girls that would love (or think they would love) total control.  But this isn’t the middle ages where we can lock girls in towers (or basements) to wait for their beatings. 🙂  So realistic total control isn’t likely in the US without being illegal.  Luckily, it’s not hard to make them realize that real control is a fantasy, because total control is hard work.

Just my opinion.  I’m looking forward to your updates.  You are free to email me anytime you like.  This is a private email account and no one reads it but me.   Jack

To his kind message, I replied:

Hi, Jack, 
Thanks for the message.  Yes, the “hubby” here may not yet be a Control Freak, but he is showing all the signs of becoming one.  And, that is my concern.  I attempt to alert girls before they get into a situation that they cannot get out of.  His control of her email account is most disturbing, since she then has absolutely no privacy at all.  She becomes more and more subjugated to him since she is afraid to communicate how she actually feels.  And, he even states that he wants to know where she is at all times of the day, since he has to make sure that she has no “male friends”, and essentially no friends at all.  
You are correct that a real Control Freak would not allow her to visit me for 5 weeks in the U.S., but that is the very point.  Right now, she believes that she has the right to do whatever she wants to do, and then … BAM! … here comes her fiancé, pretending to be her “husband”, and shuts her down!  I do believe that she is in for a rude awakening, and possibly a situation that she will have a difficult time getting out of.  Her fiancé clearly does not respect her privacy, or even her for that matter.  
Now, the difference between this fiancé and girls who do want to be supervised and controlled, is that the girls who contact me have initiated that control.  Not so here.  Elsa came to me simply to help her achieve her own goals.  And then, again … BAM! … her so-called fiancé has shut that down!  
As for locking girls in a tower or the basement, actually the same is even today possible through tight control of a girl to the point where she is afraid to do anything without permission.  If she does not have permission to leave the home, then she does not leave.  There is no difference between that and actually locking her in.  Elsa needs to be very careful for her future.  
Of course, you are correct about the amount of time it takes to actually control a girl … except when she has been conditioned to obey without resistance.  I was talking with several wives who were just socializing in front of their homes one day, when one of the girls took off running as fast as she could to get home … her husband had just come home unexpectedly.  “Oh, oh.  She’s going to get a good beating!”, one of the wives said.  She was not allowed to be out socializing with the neighbors when her husband came home, and he frequently spanked and whipped her when she was.  So, to the contrary, it is still possible to “lock” a girl in a home, whether it is illegal or not.  Read my post on the value of a “Protection Order”!  They are totally worthless and may even end up with a dead girl!  
I am going to post our correspondence, since it is directly relevant to the on-going report.  Of course, your name will be changed and there is no way that anyone can identify someone among the thousands of “Jack’s” across the country.  But, your message needs to be heard.  
Best wishes, 

Elsa, the choice is yours.  You have a right to your own privacy, your own feelings, your own thoughts, and what you want to do with your life.  The choice is yours!